These past several days have been a huge eye opener for me in terms of my eating habits. I've been stripped of all, and I do mean all, food groups that I enjoy. It's only temporary, but it's been necessary. Proteins and dairy (fat free cottage cheese, greek yogurt, cream cheese, sour cream and milk are the only ones allowed) are my least favorite things to eat. I don't enjoy them. I could go months without them and not give it a second thought. Needless to say, this has been challenging.
But more than that, I'm realizing just how much food has controlled my life. How food controls my over-all mood. I've been a major crank the past week. I want bread, cheese, chocolate, snacks, crackers. Anything with some flavor! I've been angry I can't have it. This morning as I was eating my eggs and oat bran that I've had daily for what seems an eternity, I was almost in tears because I wanted something more. Tears! I wanted ketchup with my eggs. Or peanut butter and jelly toast. Mmmm waffles.
After a little pity party, I snapped myself out of it a bit. So what, Tiffany?! Get a frickin' grip already. It's food, not a lost puppy. Food is meant as fuel, not as a past time.
I've yo-yo dieted most of my life. I tried dieting in middle school. For some time I was eating under 400 calories a day at that time. I did weight watchers in High School and had some success. I've done the lemonade diet, HCG, Weight Watchers again, SlimFast, and of course Jillian Michaels Online where I had the most success. Never once, through any of these, did I realize how out of control my eating habits actually were. This gives me hope that something is different this time. That it will stick for good.
I said last week that I was going to strive for a more positive attitude, when in reality I'm in a major funk today. So here's some positive thoughts from others instead...
I had to cut sugars and flour out of my diet because they cause me to crave overeating. I like eating fairly low-carb so once I get the sugars and flour of my system I'm good to go. But the initial withdrawl leaves me curled up in a ball holding my knees rocking myself like a crack addict!haha Good luck girl. You've got this!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to so much of this on so many levels!! I too feel like food consumes my life and I forget that I simply need it for fuel, not pleasure!! Keep it up lady, you can and will do this!! Remember how good it feels when you accomplish a goal that you set for yourself!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are struggling. It wasn't until I gave up all grains that my cravings and mood swings disappeared, as did my anxiety/panic attacks. It's rough the first week or so, but by about day 4 the worst is over, and suddenly you feel AMAZING. Hope you get there too!
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