Motivation Monday - Body Image

My issues with body image started at a very young age. I can actually remember the exact time it all began: I was probably in 1st grade or so. I remember getting out of the bath one evening, looking down and noticing I had a "belly". I can remember thinking to myself, "when did this get here? Why do I have it?". I've been self conscious about my appearance ever since.

From that day forward, I became very aware that I was bigger than my friends. At that age, I was too young to understand why I was the way I was. I didn't know that my eating habits were unhealthy, and no one ever told me so. I didn't know how to change it, but I was uncomfortable in my own skin. As time went on, I started to hide behind a shell. I became incredibly shy and while no one ever said anything or bullied me, I always felt that people noticed I was different too. As far as I know, none of my friends or peers ever laughed or made fun of me, but I always felt as though they were staring and laughing.

I have always been active. From dance, tap, clogging, ballet when I was young, to various sports as I got older. In all honesty, I was a good dancer. Captain of my team even. But I eventually quit something (dance) I loved because of my size. My friends and teammates all looked great in their costumes, and I always felt so self conscious and uncomfortable. 

My first diet was in 4th grade. I'd try so hard to eat the right things, but I didn't have much support. There was always cookies, ice cream and chocolate in the house. While my mom made healthy dinners, 2nd, 3rd and even 4th helpings were always readily available.

I hated PE in elementary school. Not because I didn't want to run around or that I didn't enjoy the actual activities. I hated the pressure in not coming in last. I hated that I struggled to do a pull up when my smaller friends did it with ease. I hated that my face would become beat red after 2 minutes of "Steal the Bacon". 

Then came middle school. Man, middle school is rough - for anyone. You start to notice boys, and you want boys to notice you. While all my girl friends were getting 'boyfriends', I was just one of the guys to the boys in my class. At this point, I took my food issues from one extreme to another. I'd skip breakfast, lying to my mom telling her I had some while she was in the shower. For lunch, I'd sit in the commons area with my friends, but never go through the line to get my own tray. Dinner would come, and I'd pick at my food telling my parents I was full from lunch. Lying to everyone, including myself. 

Fortunately, I had people that loved me. I never got incredibly small, but people noticed the rapid weightloss and didn't stay quiet. I was always a people pleaser, and went back to eating - but eating too much- and put it all back on plus some. 

I hid my insecurities, body and unhappiness under baggy jeans, t-shirts and hoodies.

My prom dress had to be custom made. I couldn't find one that fit properly, and would cover my arms like I wanted.

Senior Prom

I was, in all honesty, very upset each time I was asked to homecoming dances and Jr and Sr prom. I didn't want to go, because I didn't want to feel "ugly" in comparison to my petite friends. Looking back, I know how silly that all was. I was never bad looking. There's a lot of muscle under the extra weight - it's just the way I'm built. I carry it well, I guess you could say. But to me, it was embarrassing.

After high school, once I was in complete control of the food in my house, I started to lose weight and for the first time in my life, gain some confidence.

But my pregnancy brought on a whole new host of insecurities. Ones that I'm still working on today. I had this beautiful, new baby boy at home. My heart was so full of love. But I remember, very vividly, sobbing when I looked in the mirror at my new body. Ah hormones.

So with all that being said, re-gaining the pounds I lost in the past year has been really difficult on me mentally these past couple of months. Back are the hoodies and baggy t-shirts. Back are the negative thoughts and self talk. It's a hard thing to overcome - a life time and bad body image.

I've put off my first run since getting healthy because of all of this. I was worried about how I'd look out there. Every time I've had a run planned in the past couple of weeks, I'd find an excuse not to do it. I've struggled to get past the mentality of, "I did this to myself. I don't look like I did 4 months ago." Then, this weekend, I realized something. I have never in my life seen a heavier person out walking or running and thought anything negative of them. And more than that, no one should ever be ashamed of their appearance. No one - including myself. Whether you're 105 pounds or 300+, who cares. It's what's on the inside that makes a person beautiful. Who cares if I have rolls showing through my shirt while I'm out there running? Who cares if I have to take some walking breaks? None of that matters. 

So Saturday afternoon, I laced up my shoes, blared some music, held my head high and I ran. It was slow. It was difficult, but I did it. I took that first baby step into accepting myself. Accepting my short comings and past failures. And accepting that none of that is going to change unless I do something about it.

All of you out there, anyone reading this, YOU are beautiful. YOU are strong. YOU are the only one holding yourself back from achieving whatever goals or plans you might have. Hold your head high, and get to work!

An InLinkz Link-up

10 Things I've Learned About Weightloss and Fitness

I've been on this weightloss/blogging journey of mine for nearly a year now. In that time, I lost (and regained) nearly 30 pounds. I had several injuries, illnesses and a long plateau. Yet, there were a lot of highs in there as well. Overall, there have been many things I've learned on this journey of mine... and many more lessons still to come.

1.  Rest days are important. Take them. Enjoy them. Otherwise, you could end up in this situation:

Stress fractures from over training hurt - just don't do it

In that same category, don't drop a 200 lb HVAC unit on your big toe. It's not pleasant, and I don't recommend it.

2.  Water is your best friend. Drink it until you feel you can't possibly drink any more. Sure, the constant bathroom trips are a pain, but your body will thank you. Not only does it help with weightloss, but I feel so much lighter and clear headed when I'm well hydrated.

3.  Losing weight is a whole different ball game once you're a mother. Fitting in a workout takes some major planning and strategizing. Starting out it seemed like an impossible task to me. I'm too tired to workout once he's in bed, but there was no way I could workout with him all over me, right? That was my excuse for 2 whole years. One day, I decided to just give it a shot. To attempt a workout with my crazy, energetic toddler under foot.

As it turns out, he loved it. It ended up being a win-win. I get my workout in, and I'm setting a good example for my son at an early age.

4.  Don't be scared to move out of your comfort zone. Try new things (like working out with your kids). Enter a race, even though it terrifies you. Try out the weight section at the gym. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You never know where it might take you.

My first 5K Race - 2013

5.  Weightloss is about so much more than just the scale. It will try you mentally and emotionally. You'll face demons and learn to get past them. That's important.

6.  Sometimes you'll fail. It may be a small slip up, or it may be huge (like regaining all your weight). But you don't give up, not ever.

7.  Your body is capable of so much more than you'd ever imagine. Test it to to it's full potential.

8.  All the pizza, cookies, burgers, sticky finger quesadillas? Yeah, they taste delicious. But, you won't care about that when it's weigh in time. You won't care about that a couple hours later when you feel sluggish. It's not worth it. 

9.  I've learned that I don't eat based on stress or just any bad day. My food issues tie directly to my physical health. I don't struggle with my eating habits until I'm in physical pain with my Lupus or down for the count with an illness. I eat to comfort myself in those situations. I'm still working to overcome that issue.

10.  The scale doesn't define my self worth. 

This year has brought a whirlwind of ups and downs. I'm grateful for every single moment - good and bad. It hasn't been a perfect journey thus far, but that's just me. I can't wait to see where my journey leads in the next year and what experiences it will bring me.   

Motivation Monday: Bump in the Road

 

We took a little road trip over the mountain to Saratoga, WY yesterday so Brad could watch some Pros play in a pool tournament. There's something about the mountains that brings me such peace. On the way home, I couldn't help but think back over the past year and snapped the above picture from the truck to reflect my thoughts in the moment.

Last summer, Brad and I took a backpacking trip, over 6 miles total. The hike was through water, over boulders and all types of terrain. I made the trip with ease. At times, feeling as though I could have ran portions where there was actual trail. I felt on top of the world in the moment, both literally and figuratively.

Never did I think I would be back to square one almost a year later. 

I've known that I'd have to write this blog post for a couple of weeks. While I have touched on it briefly here and there, I have really tried to avoid the whole topic.  Even though I've had this post on the brain for weeks, I am still finding it hard to find the words...

I worked hard last year and learned a lot of things along the way. My progress was much slower than anticipated, but I kept my head up (most of the time) and continued looking forward. I first got sick and started experience Lupus Flare symptoms in October. For months, I taught tooth and nail to continue progressing through the pain and sickness. Finally, in December, I reached a 29lb total loss. I felt great and was beginning to gain the confidence I had lost long ago.

Then, all the symptoms came back x100. I tried. Man, did I ever try to keep pressing forward. Truth is, my body was exhausted. My mind was exhausted. I simply couldn't workout through the aches and pains. Beyond that, I couldn't walk across the room without being winded and having a coughing attack. These couldn't (s) aren't "Eh, I didn't feel like it." They are: I, quite literally, was not capable of these things. 

Enter the evil prednisone. Not only does it make you retain water like you're 9 months pregnant with pre-eclampsia, but the hunger is unreal. Evil, evil, prednisone. I wanted to eat healthy, I did. But truth be told, I gave in far too many times in past month. One positive thing, I did make more frequent healthy choices than I would have if this had been one year ago. So, there's that.

The day I found out about round 1093980739 of bronchitis for the year, I also broke my big toe AND had to take Wyatt back into the doctor after my x-rays for his 3rd round of antibiotics in 2 months. We won't go back into all of that - my point is: Luck has not been on my side and I haven't handled it the best I could. 

Weight loss and fitness journey's aren't all happy-go-lucky moments. They aren't rainbows and unicorns all the time. They aren't easy. No matter what anyone portrays out there, at the gym or on some random blog, they struggle, too. Even if they'll never admit it. It's not always easy to turn down dessert or all the pizza and burgers. It's not always easy to make your workout a priority. And, sometimes, real life situations are going to get in the way. Some things are completely out of your control.

The real change in a person happens when they decide what to do with the things they are dealt. The real change happens when they take slip-ups, no matter how big or how small, as a bump in the road. Not an end-all.

That's where I am. I'm feeling better. Much better. The prednisone is gone - for now...  I haven't weighed in yet (I will tomorrow morning after I dig my scale out), but I can tell you that I will not be surprised if I'm starting over - 100% from the beginning. I've been struggling internally with that thought and trying to overcome the negative talk that comes with it. I can't change the past. It is what it is. All I can do is work my butt off from here on out.

I hope you guys will all stick around as I start this journey over. The great thing about the past year, is I've learned a lot about myself and my body which should make all the difference in my success this time around. I need accountability right now, so I'll be bringing back weekly weigh-ins. 

More on my plan, weigh-in, measurements to come tomorrow!

Motivation Monday - Inspiration

With all the craziness going on as of late, it's been far too long since I've managed a Motivation Monday! But, I love this week's theme and it came at a time when I was really needing it: What Inspires You. Come link-up with us and be sure to jump around and check out other's posts today!

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Inspiration is so unique and special to each individual. My journey started a year ago... I was tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin. Tired of hiding behind hoodies and sweats. Tired of being tired, really. But, my big push was my son, Wyatt.

I didn't want to sit on the sidelines and watch him grow. I wanted to be a part of it all. I wanted to be able to chase him; throw and kick a ball around. To really be a part of everything he does. Not just emotionally, but physically. With extra pounds, that was a hard task. Beyond that, it was extremely important to me that he learn healthy habits. That he understood the importance of physical activity, and had fun doing it. That he had a healthy relationship with food early on. 

Children lead by example. I couldn't sit on the couch and stuff my face with all the calories, but expect him to learn moderation. I couldn't encourage him to play outside and run around, if I was just going to kick back and watch from a distance.

Wyatt is what originally lit that fire within myself. As a result, I feel as though this journey continues to make me a better mother. I'm far from perfect, there is always room for improvement. But, not only am I happier when I'm on the right path, but so it he.

Last fall, I heard through the blogging community about Who I Run 4. I spent a good part of the day in tears as I read about the organization and scrolled through the posts on the Facebook page. I immediately signed up to be matched with a buddy to run and workout for. It was a long 6-8 week wait to be matched with my buddy, Dakota. Never did I imagine the change this young man would make in our lives.

Working out took on a whole new meaning. I wasn't just doing it for myself anymore, I was doing it for a complete stranger. Dakota looks forward to my updates, and I don't want to let him down. He is a huge motivator for me, and beyond that, has taught me so many valuable lessons. Someday, he will ride his wheelchair next to me on a run, and I cannot wait for that day.

 These past several months have been a struggle as I've dealt with various health problems. I'm gearing up to start my journey over. Instead of continuing to be down on myself for the detour I've been on lately, I'm concentrating on getting pumped up. I'm so ready to do this - just as soon as my toe and health get on the same page. There's a lot to come in the very near future, and with Wyatt and Dakota pushing me, I have no doubt that it will be an amazing ride!

Motivation Monday - Cardio

It's another Motivation Monday! Come link-up with us and hop around to view other's ideas.

This week's top is "Favorite Cardio". I've been looking forward to this topic because it's one that I feel finally applies to me. However, some unexpected family things last night took over my planned post writing time. So, last minute post for the win!

I love all things fitness. I can't choose just one...

 Lift all the weights! Running is the best! HIIT is a love/hate relationship. Circuit training is awesome for fat blasting and long term calorie burn. I could go on and on. My favorite type of cardio (or any workout for that matter) changes daily. Sometimes several times a day. It just depends on my mood. 

If I lived in a warmer climate, where I could be outdoors year round, this answer would be ridiculously simple: Hiking.

The above photos are from an overnight backpacking trip we took this past summer. We were around 12,000 -14,000 feet altitude. Hiking uphill, over boulders and creeks. It was roughly 3 miles in and 3 miles out with a 30+ pound pack on your back. It.was.awesome! I love the mountains. I love the peacefulness. And I love that it's an amazing workout that is completely enjoyable, yet challenge. 

I love having all this in my backyard, but it is Wyoming. Meaning, we are stuck indoors nearly 6 months a year and roads to these beautiful sights are closed down until the snow melts. So, until we can get back up there again - I have to improvise.

Runs are few and far between right now due to minimal day light, frigid temps and frozen sidewalks and streets. HIIT (high intensity interval training) has been my best friend throughout the winter. It's short and incredibly effective. Perfect for a busy day. 

I've put together a couple HIIT in the past few months using some of my favorite moves. There are great, free interval training timer apps out there. 

 

Give it a shot and let me know how it goes if you do!

Motivation Monday - Wheat Belly

It's Motivation Monday! Come link up with us and be sure to hop around and check some other blogs out.

 

Today's theme is Healthy Valentine's Dinners. Truth is, I'm one of those people that feels Valentine's Day is a bit ridiculous. I make a big deal out of every holiday for Wyatt. There will be goodies and fun things for him. But, we don't really go all out for each other. So, this theme doesn't apply to me too much. I'm excited to see what you all have in mind though!

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This past week has felt a bit like Christmas. I've had plans to get a HRM for months and months. I finally caved and ordered one last week. I am in love! Picture below is my calorie burn for T25 Cardio. I never would have guessed I was burning that much in 25 minutes. I've found that having the watch really pushes me to work even harder to get as big a burn as possible, so big win all around here. 

I also got the foot pod so I can track my runs with it as well. We are finally supposed to have some decent weather this weekend and I plan to get some miles in and test it. Maybe that groundhog fibbed after all...

As I've mentioned the past few weeks, I'm working on the switch to a grain free diet. Honestly, it's been challenging. I love my carbs! In fact, I didn't realize just how much I ate them until I started working on this lifestyle change. I did some research before beginning the process, but was struggling to fully commit. I know there are studies showing it can help my autoimmune diseases, but I didn't know how or why. A lack of knowledge has made it difficult to fully jump in.

Enter Wheat Belly:

I'm only about 50 pages in (I need more free time!) but am already completely amazed by all the facts in this book. My plan for the blog is to turn Wednesday's into all things Wheat Belly. I'll be sharing what I'm learning, what I'm trying and most importantly how it affects my overall health, especially Lupus.

And last, but not least, in other good news: I finally have a working laptop again after 6 months without. This should mean more organized posts from now on. Knock on wood!

I have even more plans and changes coming soon. It is a lot all at once, but my health is incredibly important. Now more than ever. It's time to make not only weightloss a priority, but the whole big picture.

Motivation Monday - "Healthy Treats"

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Seriously. I don't even understand what happened yesterday. Honestly, I thought it would be a close game with the Broncos coming out on top. As it turns out, the Broncos didn't even show up. It was just painful to watch, and I'm not even a fan of either team. Now that football is over, I can concentrate on my true love: Baseball!

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Moving on... it's Motivation Monday and today's theme is Healthy Treats. 

Here's the deal - I'm a snacker. That is my biggest down fall. Mindless eating throughout the day. So, when I'm on track I try to avoid snacking and treats as much as possible. It just takes me down a slippery slope. When I feel I really need something in between meals, my fall backs are usually a boiled egg, slice of cheese or a little bit of fruit. I used to eat a lot of wheat thins as snacks, but I'm experimenting with cutting grains out. 

I'm going to get off topic for a quick minute. I've had some questions and negativity around my decision to cut the grains. I will go further into this in another week or so, but a quick Clif Note verson: For me personally, weight loss has nothing to do with me dipping into a Primal/Paleo lifestyle. Although, I won't complain about any lost pounds in the process. For me, this is all about my health. Trying alternative, natural ways to help my immune system and lupus before taking drastic pharmaceutical measures. (This coming from a girl with a pharmacist as a brother, ha!) It may help, it may not. But it definitely can't hurt and I feel it is best for me at list time... Okay, back on topic...

My sweet tooth really kicks in after dinner. What I've found works best for me in terms of eating a week's worth of calories before bed, is to workout before dinner. It pushes my dinner time back further, and I'm never overly hungry after a workout. If I feel that I absolutely have to have something, I love to slice an apple, sprinkle some cinnamon on top and microwave it for a bit. It cures my sweet craving without completely derailing my work. 

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a believer in "low fat/non fat" or making some crazy version of a brownie full of veggies etc... If I just can't get said brownie off the brain, I'll eat one and get right back on track. As long as it's not a brownie a day, or even a week, it's not going to derail your efforts. But, I know that we are all different and just do what works best for ourselves. 

What are your favorite healthy treats? What works best for YOU!?

Motivation Monday

Today's theme is Healthy Super Bowl Snacks; however, I have a bit of a different view when it comes to "special events" (which, in my house, the Super Bowl most definitely is a special event). If you are going to splurge a bit. Just do it. Watch your portion sizes and get back on track the next day.

For me personally, if I'm really craving something, a low calorie, low fat variation is rarely going to satisfy me and I end up over eating. Make sure there is a veggie tray and fruit around to fill up on, but have a wing or two. Bite into that burger and get back to it the next day. "Fat free" versions of things are not good for you. Sure, the calorie count is going to be less, but you're better off eating whole foods.

Since we are on the topic of the Super Bowl, let me just say what a disappointing year this is. My two least favorite teams in the NFL have made it. Waaaahhhh. On the bright side, I won't have to worry about having a heart attack like I nearly did in the last three minutes of the 49ers game last week. My heart will mend, and Quest for 6 can continue next year!

Brad and his family are all Broncos fans (most people are around here since I live 2 hours away from Denver). So, we will be going to his mom's house for a Super Bowl party and I'm really looking forward to it!.

Moving on from the Super Bowl. Today marks day 1 of T25 again. Knock on wood that I can stay healthy this time. Today is also day 1 of going mainly wheat free. I have been researching this for some time. There are differing views on whether or not taking wheat out of your diet helps Lupus patients. I've spoken to other Lupus sufferers and some say it changed their life, some said it did absolutely nothing. Honestly, that's to be expected. Lupus varies so much person to person. But, I figure it's worth a shot and definitely can't hurt.

I have to share a NSV victory today, because let's face it, it's been a hot minute since I've had any victories - scale or no scale. One of my goals for 2014 was to incorporate more yoga into my routine. Also, Lupus beneficial. As I was laying in bed Friday night, I decided my goal for the weekend would be to try Crow Pose. Now, this is something I never fathomed I could ever do. I've always been amazed by people that could pull it off.

Shockingly, it didn't take me long at all to be able to hold it. Understand that this is not a full crow position. But I'm still extremely excited about my progress so far. My goal is to be able to achieve a full crow (arms clear under the arm pit) by the end of the year.

Core Power Winner & Motivation Monday: What I'm Doing Differently

Wendy

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Alisha

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Betty

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Brandi

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Gwen

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Jen

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Jennifer

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Morgan

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Theresa

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Tiffany

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It's time for Motivation Monday! Come link-up what you're going to do differently this year (or any motivation you need). Be sure to check out all the amazing co-hosts for some extra motivation and ideas!

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First things first, we have a winner for the Core Power giveaway!Caitlin Ann check your email and congratulations! 

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What I'm Doing Differently This Year

 2013 was the year I reinvented who I wanted to be. 2014 will be the year I become that person.

I suppose this topic really is just a continuation of last week's Motivation Monday, but it's a good thing to think about. As I'm sure all mother's can related to some extent, when I became a mother, I lost a small piece of myself. I gained so much more, but those loses still took their toll.

At 8 months pregnant I found out I was going to be a single mother. The following day I was put on strict bedrest. My world was crashing down around me. Nothing I had hoped and planned for was coming to pass and while an exciting time, it was also a difficult time. I had a week long labor with emergency c-section, my body started failing me after delivery, Wyatt ended up with severe jaundice and I went back to a very demanding job, baby in tow, before he was even 2 weeks old. 

Things have come a long ways since then. All has been forgiven and Wyatt has the best daddy in the world. When I reference that time in my life, I'm not saying he abandoned us, he didn't. I just want that to be clear. However, I spent that first year in survival mode. Forgetting who I was and what I wanted. This past year I took time to start and pick up the pieces and make sense of everything. Slowly, throughout 2013, I started to remember who I was and most importantly who I wanted to be.

For me, 2014 is about becoming and embracing that person. Last year, I took steps outside of my comfort zone. I plan to do even more of that this year. I plan to laugh and love more. To live more in the moment and slow everything down.

When it comes to the health and fitness side of things, there are several small changes I want to make this year. Throughout the Fit 4 Christmas Challenge, I took a risk and stopped counting calories and finally saw some success. I've found counting calories to actually hurt my weight loss efforts. I'd obsess over that number and justify extra splurges. 2014 is going to be about balance and listening to my body. Portion control and just being mindful of what I'm fueling my body with.

As far as workouts go, I will be adding a lot more running. It's an amazing stress relief for me. Weights and circuit training will continue as always, although increasing in weight. 

REST days! Boy, have I learned the importance of these. I've over trained one too many times through the past year resulting in far too many injuries. I hope to incorporate some yoga and extensive stretching at least once a week. 

So there you have it; my changes for the new year! What do you plan to do differently? Come link up!

Motivation Monday: New Year Goals

 Finally getting back into some normal blogging - just in time for the Motivation Monday link-up. We have some new team members, so be sure to jump around and check them out today.

Wendy,
Alisha,
Betty,
Brandi, Gwen, Jen, Jennifer,
Morgan,
Theresa

We're trying out something a little different for 2014 and will have weekly "themes" for the link-up. Don't let the theme keep you from linking up though. Share anything motivational with us!

 

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New Year: New Me. 2014 is going to be my year. I've said that to myself in many years past, but I know it to be true this time. I have never looked into a new year with so much excitement and anticipation. There are big things coming to me and mine this year and I can't wait to share it all with you as things come to pass.

For as long as I can possibly remember, I've always been a big goal-oriented person. My parents engraved that into our brains as kids. Every year, on New Year's Eve, we would sit down and make goals for the new year. I'd always do awesome for a few months then fall off course. Yeah, we've all been there.

The past couple of years, I've barely noticed the New Year come and go, let alone taken time to sit down and think about what I'd like to accomplish. Honestly, I have missed it. I know there are many that disagree with the resolution concept. I am not one of them. Resolutions give me a sense of purpose and accomplishment and I need that back in my life. So, I have been thinking hard over the past week about what I want to achieve in 2014:


1. My motto through out all of 2014:

If you follow me on IG, I touched on this a bit recently. I made some strides in 2013, but one thing that I still struggle with is comparing myself to others. Constantly wanting to be as good or better than so and so. And far too often, getting down on myself when I can't. When reality is, true success comes from concentrating on one's self. Striving to be better than you were yesterday. Working to beat your own demons, PR's, goals... whatever that may be. So, if you are following along my journey, be prepared to hear about this throughout the next year!

2.  Reach goal weight (138).

3.  Less electronics/social media. More family. (I'm pretty good about this, but there is always room for improvement)

4. Run 300 Miles for Dakota (That's 200 more than 2013!)

5. Run in at least (2) local, official, 5K races

6.  Find a Cerebral Palsy Virtual 5K race for Dakota & organize free virtual 5K just for him

7.  Lupus Virtual 5K

8. Complete T25

9. Swimming lessons for Wyatt. (As a former lifeguard that had to rescue one too many times, this is a huge  priority for me).

10.  A new home

11. Journaling - Letters to Wyatt (more on this to come).

12. Save!!

13. Run 8 consecutive miles

14.  Summer Hike

If you are looking for a way to stay on track with your health and fitness goals, come join my accountability group on Facebook HERE. Everyone is so encouraging and we will be doing mini challenges throughout the year.

January's Challenge: Burpees! Try not to hate me too much by the end of January...

Motivation Monday - I Need to be More Like Her

 We live in a world run by technology. Our smartphones are attached to our hips. Computers are necessary for our careers and education. In all honesty, my two year old can use electronics as well as I do. The benefits are never ending. But with all good things, comes trials.

Since, perhaps the beginning of time, women have felt the need to reach perfection. To be the perfect homemaker, mother, wife and career women. To look our best at all times and never show our flaws.. Society has made it this way, or perhaps, it's just in our natural make-up. Technology has added to the pressure.

Everywhere you look, whether it's turning on the TV, browsing Pinterest, or even reading blogs... there is pressure to be better, to look better, to achieve more. At times, it can be overwhelming and quite disheartening.

Look at her. She always looks so gorgeous and put together. I need to be more like her.

She manages to work, care for her family, and has an amazing body. It must be so easy for her! I need to be more like her.

Her home looks like it came out of a magazine! Everything always in it's place and she has time to spare! I need to be more like her.

Look at all the creative activities she does with her kids. How lucky they are to have a mother like her! I need to be more like her.

She's only been running a month and can already run an 8 minute mile! I've been running for months and have yet to achieve that! How does she do it? I need to be more like her.

 I think we have all been victim of the above thinking at one time or another. I know I have, and frequently. But then, several weeks ago, a little two year old boy taught me a valuable lesson in the simplest of ways.

While working out with me, Wyatt was struggling to lift some 2 pound weights far above his head. He grunted and struggled for quite some time. I chuckled to myself watching him. It's just two pounds, you silly little goose.

 

When at least he succeeded, he jumped up and down in triumph, "I did it, Mamma! I supa song!"  Wyatt's only two. He didn't care that they were only two pounds. He doesn't care if anyone else can lift more. All that mattered, was he did his best. And he succeeded.

Everywhere you look you are going to see people putting up the perfect front. It comes naturally to only share our successes or things we are proud of. But keep in mind, you aren't seeing the behind the scenes. 

Who cares if someone is thinner, faster or stronger than you. Who cares if their home appears to be perfect. Who cares! You aren't in competition with anyone. You are strong because you are perfectly YOU! True success will come when you stop trying to beat everyone else, and you work on beating yourself. Be better than you were yesterday. 

Just because someone might be able to run further or faster than you, does not make you any less of a runner. Just because someone can lift double what you can does not mean you aren't strong. Just because someone is losing weight faster than you, does not make you a failure. We are all fighting our own battles. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Work on you and only you. 

Motivation Monday - Staying Motivated

Yep, Monday has arrived once again. Grab a button and come link up with us!

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I've been thinking a lot about motivation the past couple of weeks. As I lost motivation in my weight loss journey, I also lost motivation in other areas of my life. Work, the blog, home, hobbies... everything became a chore. It's not a pleasant way to live: going through the motions day in and day out. 
Determined to pull myself out of this "funk", I started the Fit 4 Christmas Challenge and slowly, but surely, my enthusiasm is returning. However, it hasn't come without it's struggles or been overly easy. My mind is determined to be lazy, but my heart is doing it's best to fight it. 
Thursday was one of those days. Everything went wrong from the time I rolled out of bed. I was exhausted, stressed, irritated and all around ornery. Before I got off work, I had  decided to bake cookies for dinner and sit on the couch for the entire evening. So healthy, Tiffany. The second our coats were hung up, I was making the cookies and pre-heating the oven.
Right as I sat down to consume a ridiculous amount of calories, I got a notification on my phone. My #irun4 buddy, Dakota had sent me a picture of himself along with a simple message:

Hi Ms.Tiffany,
I had a good day today. I had a good week. This weekend I am going to camp. We will fish. We will play games. We will eat lots of good food and have a talent show. I am going with my special friends. I like to sing songs at camp. Have a good weekend.

 — with Tiffany Hultgren.

I've mentioned Dakota a time or two before, but a quick recap: Dakota is 17 and has cerebral palsy. He rolls to get where he needs to go, so is unable to run for himself. Physical activity, in general, is limited for him. So I run and workout for Dakota.
This simple message, from a boy I've never met but love dearly, brought tears to my eyes. Dakota has daily challenges that I can't even begin to comprehend, yet he is always smiling and encouraging. How can I sit here, stuffing my face with cookies, and feel bad for myself? 
I put the cookies away and got a 40 minute workout in for Dakota that night. 

I started this journey for a host of reasons, but mainly for my son and to do my part to improve my health. 

I have an incurable autoimmune disease. But, I decided to stop letting that define me. Doctor's may not be able to do much to help the pain, but maybe I can. Doctor's may not be able to do much to prevent the constant illnesses, but maybe I can. 

And by taking better care of myself, maybe that will make me a better mother. 

That was my thinking last spring. I had my doubts, but knew there was nothing to lose. I jumped in with both feet. I've learned a lot along the way; with so much more yet to learn.

 Living a healthier life and dropping some pounds hasn't fixed everything in my life. I still get sick, often. However, believe it or not, it's better than it was a year ago. There are still days where I feel like I'm a failure as a mother, but I believe we all have days like that. But, I do know that I am a much more present and active mom. We play hours of tag, wrestling, soccer and baseball. These are things that were few and far between 25+ pounds ago. 

Sometimes we get so caught up looking at the end goal, that we forget to look at how far we've actually come. Sometimes we forget why we started in the first place. Don't forget to take a minute from time to time to sit back and reflect. When you feel like giving up, remember why you started.

Even if I wanted to forget why I started, I know that Wyatt and my buddy Dakota would never let that happen. I am on this journey, not only for myself, but for them. When I want to give up, they will keep me going.