Motivation Monday: Crystal @ Crystal Michelle's Mess

It's another Motivation Monday, so grab a button and come link up!

Today's guest post is from the super motivating, Crystal over at Crystal Michelle's Mess. Crystal has lost a ton of weight, and is looking amazing! She's an amazing photographer and has such a great attitude. Crystal is also one of the co-hosts for my new favorite link-up "Thankful Thursday." Go check her out!

Thanks, Crystal!!

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A year ago I was taking care of my dad full time, I remember HATING to go over there some days and would cringe on picking up the phone for fear of him needing something. I hated watching him die…. I hated it, when I would leave I would think of the lake, him playing me a song, us joking, being his little girl and riding with him everywhere, late night Jack in The Box Cheesecake or the funny parts that happened that day.. I would wash away the 16 medications, breathing treatments and the days where he simply talked to me no better than a 4 year old for loss of oxygen to his brain for to long, the showers that made him feel less of a man that I would try to joke through to get us both through it and the days where I was afraid to walk in because he was just laying to still…. my husband was out of town 5 days out of 7 we had no relationship whats so ever, but I was so busy I never knew…. I was a photographer & new business owner, mom of three kids, Dance, Football and normal house hold duties and a pretty shitty sister, daughter and friend. I know all this now but I was oblivious to any of these things back then.

This has a point.

With all of this being said I feel as if I lost me.. All of me I was depressed and I didn’t even know it. I became this person, that just was going through the motions of everyday life, trying to cram it all in and stay afloat. I didn’t care about me. but wait when have I really ever cared about me?

I haven’t.

Taking care of my father was the worst thing I have ever had to do in my life, but in the same breath the most breath takingly beautiful thing I have ever done in my life. I have said it before but I will say it again, God knows me and knows my heart… he knew that when I lost that man that I would be lost.. he knew that if he took him from me he would have to make me see why he had to come home, and he did.. ( this has a point) I learned more than I could have ever imagined in this time that at one time seemed like such a long time, but in reality looking back it was only a brief moment to me I wish I could have back. I learned that the strong fall, that the decisions of your youth WILL affect your future, that time was precious, that family was precious, that when we are so busy growing up that our parents are growing old, how important savings is and insurance, how God is gracious even when we don’t see it fair, and I learned that I NEVER want to put my kids through what I was going through ever…………. It was good for me, but it was time to take a step back and take care of me, because with out taking care of me that means they will have to do the dirty work or put me up in a stinky old home ( which FYI I am SOOOOOOOO glad that I fought tooth & nail to NEVER do to my dad)

Okay here is the point

I was finally done….. I woke up. I got mad… yup that is what happened… I was mad… so mad…. why was he taken, why has this life been so hard, why do people do drugs, why can’t my mom walk well, why why why why.. and well I dont do drugs and never have so… it was either go in to depression ( which I did for a while…) Or kick ass…. I started talking to people, going to the gym, stopped taking stupid diet pills, and starving myself ( which totally used to work by the way hahaha) I teamed up with Amy… I dont really know if she will fully understand what she has done for me, pushing me when she didn’t even realize it or letting me talk or vent or bitch or sharing what she is eating or giving me that look of is that what your eating.. but more than that more than anything negative she has been so positive…. even when I wasnt even if she had to lie to tell me that I looked skinnier or I was a bad ass in spin or rpm.. even if she had to fake it it worked. So Amy.. Thank you.. I started talking to people who WERE fit.. who did eat right what worked for them and I stopped reading bullshit of what to do and what not to do.. I just took everyone’s info and crammed it all together to make my own.



I am NOT the best roll model by any means… just FYI but I am trying.

I am eating better… I am working out and annoying everyone on faceook with my check ins, weigh ins, calorie days, gym days, leg days and double days… Crossfit days and to damn early for anyone to do a fucking burpee days… I cheat, I drink I screw up I cry I get discouraged and I want to quit… Um did you see those pictures I took when I was so confident and the keek I did when I was bawling about how fat I looked but how good I felt in that outfit before I left the house??? Um………. That was a kick in the gut ( literally) that said hey fat ass….. um, yeah your on your way but your no where near there, so keep up the hard work but guess what REALITY CHECK BITCH! I havent lost weight weeks, but lifted more weeks, I have hated the chicken and wanted a burger I have cried.. and cried… and cried….I have had weeks where I just wanted to give up so I did weeks and jumped back on the wagon weeks, I have yo yo'ed up and down with weight and measurements gained weeks lost weeks,

Dude… I am just a girl trying to get there.

The right way.

I am trying o get there so I am in control of my health, my life and so I can be a rocking body old lady hahaha Do I want to do this forever? Um.. not no but HELL no… I hope that I get to some point that I can say oh m g f the chicken I want Mexican Inn and know that I will be okay. I am not that girl ( well I dont think I am I may eat these words) that wants to live in the gym forever.. all I really want to do is three things:

1. Get in control of my body & be proud of me

2. Break the cycle of health issues in my family genes with me and my kids

&

3. Put on a pair of jeans, a ball cap and a t-shirt and feel cute and not like a busted can of biscuits :)

So…. My story is my own and each of us have our story. No ones weight loss story is better than the others. As a matter of fact the thing about weightloss is it's hard, and its not easy and when I see girls who have lost 10blbs 30lbs or 100lbs naturally I look up and respect them to the highest of highest. It's hard..... and when you do it the right way its so hard to look at those who take pills or starve themselves and hear the other people talk about how proud they are of them when you are still hanging at a 5lb loss and work out 5 days a week. I want yo to know I am proud of you, I am proud of YOU. Keep it up, work it off & know that you will have accomplishment in knowing that you did it.. the hard way, the right way.

Not for anyone else but you. 

I have found that there are a few things that have helped me come this far.

1- You have to be ready.. not just say your ready but you HAVE to be ready.. done with crying done with your clothes not fitting and done feeling un happy in your own body.. If your not ready it's not time.. and that is okay, because you have to be ready to make that change.

2 - Join an accountability group, hold yourself accountable but let other people know what your doing! It's so easy to let yourself down... we do it daily, but think about how hard it is to let others down.. Join a group get accountable. Let me know if you need help with this I can help you.

3- Find something you love. I started with Spin, ( I am not a runner...... at all..... I've tried) I got addicted to it, tried crossfit, and Zumba. Then I tried Flirty Girl Fitness. I fell in love and got certified! Yes the girl in the back of the class the one who wore huge shirts and hated who she saw got certified and now I have MY OWN class and empower ladies 2 days a week! Flirty Girl Hip Hop. It's okay to skip around, make fitness fun! Find something you love to do!

4. Plan your meals. Yes...... plan them..... use My Fit Pal log the food. Give yourself a goal a deadline. Log for 10 days, then 20 then two months.. I bet of you log your food you will see why you havent moved or havent lost. I did this and it was a shock to see what I was putting in my body. I started using Shakeology, this was a game changer for me as well. Not only through the product but through the people I have met and am now friends with. They have the same goals and its nice to talk to like minded people who push you to where you want to be!

5. WRITE IT DOWN - Write your goals down by hand.... plan out your workouts what are you doing Monday? What about Tuesday? Write it weekly. This will hold you accountable, you have a plan so you already know what you should be doing tomorrow!

6. Set small goals, meet those goals and set bigger ones.

7. This is the most important.... are you listening?

Get selfish..........

Yes you heard me, get selfish. This is about you..... yes you have kids, and a husband and someone needs this washed, this ironed someone needs you to volunteer and come to coffee you have a meeting and a project due for your husbands presentation..Football, Cheer leading, Work, House Cleaned you name it you do it right??

Listen....

With out YOU there is no them...... With out a HEALTHY you, where would they be? Make time, set time out for YOU get lost in your workouts, get lost in the music.. Make YOU happy because with out you happy, no one is happy and with out you healthy... what good are you to anyone else?

You deserve this, Your kids deserve this..

This is my story, I haven't lost 100lbs I am just a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a sister who forgot who I was..

I have found me and I am kicking ass and taking names step by step and helping others in the process as I go.

Are you ready? Make a killer play list put your headphones on and work for it.