Real Talk

All this down time from the blog (and consistent workouts and healthy eats) gives one a lot of thinking time.

Real Talk: I've been really struggling to get back my motivation and determination. These past few months have been challenging in so many ways. I had a "me" day for the first time in several months on Sunday. Brad took Wyatt to Cheyenne to see Nanny and Poppie and get some golfing in. Normally, I tag along for these weekends. I love spending time with my family, more than anything else in the world. But as much as I wanted to go, I knew that I needed some time to myself even more. So, I stayed home. I ran 3.15 solo miles along the greenbelt for the first time this summer. I soaked in the sun, the view of the river and the wildlife. Once home, I scrubbed every inch of the house. I threw bags of clutter and old toys away. Completed load upon load of laundry (even folded and put a way - huge plus). Then, I threw in a T25 workout giving me nearly 1200 calories burned just in my workouts for the day.

I'd finally completed everything on my "me day" to-do list and it was only 3pm. I had a couple hours to kill before the boys got home so I decided to watch some Netflix. I'd watched one full episode (Desperate Housewives never gets old) on my laptop, sitting in bed before it hit me - I have a TV. I have a TV in my living room (actually, a fairly new TV I just got a couple months ago) and I have never, not once, sat on the couch and watched what I wanted to watch. I was home alone, sitting in bed watching a show on my laptop. Seriously, forgot I had a TV... So, if that doesn't explain how badly I needed a few hours to myself, I don't know what would.

Anyways, the reason I'm sharing this seemingly pointless story, is in that moment that I realized I had forgotten I had a TV and a couch, I also realized I'd forgotten something else that should be somewhere on my priority list: myself. 

As women, and especially mothers, we are genetically made to be caregivers. We put our children above all else. We care for our husbands/significant others. As career women, we work hard to succeed and earn our place in the workplace. All these things are important. But, sometimes we forget ourselves in the craziness. At least, I know I do. And often.

I have a plan in the works that I hope to be sharing by the end of the week. I hope you guys will join in with me when I have everything together. I'm still trying to sort through my thoughts on the subject, so stay tuned for that.

Back on topic, the first area that I need to make a priority is my health. I need to get my mindset back to where it was this time last year. I need to re-lose the weight and find the passion I've lost recently. I thought a lot about what has changed from then and now. What was keeping me motivated then, that I don't have now? The biggest thing that's come to mind is an actual program. With a start and end date. I started my journey doing Jillian Michael's Body Revolution. I'm stubborn to a fault at times. Knowing it was a 90 day program kept me on point. I wanted to prove to myself that I could have amazing results by the end of the program. With that in mind, I've decided to finally completed T25 start to finish. It's roughly a 60 day program (Alpha Phase and Beta phase).

Tonight starts day 1 - and I am ready! I haven't weighed myself in weeks, possibly months - I don't know for sure. I know that it's probably going to be the worst number I've ever seen and I've dreaded that moment. But, by putting it off, it gives me the "I can start tomorrow" mentality. No more. That ends today. I'm digging the scale back out tonight for a morning weigh-in and will also track my measurements through the next 60 days. I'm a person that needs accountability to stay on track, so I'll be sharing everything here on the blog once again.

The first step is making a plan - and I've at least got that part down. Here's to big changes!

Happy Birthday Dakota!

It's hard to believe that it's already been 10 months since my life was changed forever when I was partnered with Dakota as my running buddy. We've had a lot of ups and downs together in that short time. I think of Dakota with every step I take. With every dumbbell I lift.

Before Dakota, I never once considered my ability to run as a gift. I took so many things for granted on a day to day basis. More often than not, I'd dread my workouts or try to find some excuse to skip them. I'd complain about the littlest things and had far too much negativity in my life. There are still days like that (hello, humanity). It feels as though Dakota has a sixth sense for when I'm having one of those days. Every time I decide to skip that nights workout, a notification pops up that I have a message from Dakota. That's all it takes to lace up my shoes and get to work. I love him for it! I'm not longer working out just for my sanity or just for my health. I'm working out for someone who can't do the work himself. It's a beautiful thing.

Yesterday was Dakota's 18th birthday! I would have given anything to be able to spend time with him on his special day, but those pesky 1400-1500 miles between us prevented that from happening. So, I decided we could still 'celebrate' with him here in Wyoming and share our celebrations with him throughout the day.

First on the list, was to send Dakota a birthday balloon. I'd had this day planned for a couple weeks and was so disappointed when we woke up to a complete downpour. It was still raining at lunch when I ran to the store to pick up the balloon and figured I would just hang on to it and keep my finger's crossed that it would let up long enough to release it. As soon as I walked out, balloon in hand, the rain stopped and the sun started to peak through the clouds. Fate! Maybe if we're lucky, it will find it's way to Georgia.

After work, was a special 18th birthday run and workout!

And, it wouldn't be a birthday without cake! Wyatt did the honors of blowing out the candles for Dakota. I hope it was as special a day for Dakota as it was for me. I think of him daily, but celebrating him all day yesterday really left my heart so full. 

Summer Time

Hey, hey! Remember me? It's been one crazy summer 'round these parts. We've done so many fun things, some not so fun, and many more exciting memories to come. I could really break up the past couple months into several blog posts, but I think I'll just catch up through pictures and move along...

We took Wyatt on a 3 day camping trip to the Sierra Madres about a month ago. No cell service = an amazing weekend in my book! We got some hiking in and saw plenty of deer and elk.

Weekends have been filled with golf for most of the summer. We usually go over to Cheyenne with Brad's family and hit the course. I am not a golfer, although I'd like to be. I mainly go along for the ride and to chase Wyatt around.

Brad got a hole in one over the 4th of July weekend. Pretty exciting, but I don't think he will ever stop talking about it.

The big event took place last Thursday (also, the not-so-fun part of the summer). Wyatt had surgery to remove his adenoids and get tubes put in his ears. I'm not stranger to surgeries, I've had 5 myself. But, it's a whole other ballgame when it's your kiddo. I know it's a basic, common, out patient surgery yadda yadda. But, it's no walk in the park to turn your child over to strangers - especially when he's too young to understand.

Luckily, everything went amazingly well. His adenoids were extremely large, which is probably the cause of all his reoccurring ear and sinus infections. The doctor said he is probably breathing better than he ever has. The hope is that Wyatt will now be able to fight infections better and hopefully not be sick all the time. Which, should also help this mama that doesn't have much of an immune system. He was back to his crazy self by Sunday, and things can only look up from here!

I've been slowly getting back into the workouts. If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen some of what I've been up to.

Now, to just get food back in check and get things rollin' again! Right now, I've been doing a mixture of workout dvd's, my own workouts and runs. I'm working on choosing a program or challenge and making a plan for myself. I hope to have whatever it may be up on the blog Monday.

Most importantly, it's Dakota's 18th birthday today!

Obviously tonight's workout will be a run for him. Rain, shine, or thunder... I'll be hitting the pavement!

That Time I Thought I Might Become a Missing Person

Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration... 

Every.single.muscle... and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. 

My workouts and runs are what keep me sane. Take those away from me, and I become an emotional, moody mess. In other words, I feel bad for all my loved ones that have had to deal with me these past several months. I'm not 100% yet, and won't be for some time, but I'm well on my way and ready to make the second half of 2014 amazing.

I did an hour long full body workout on Tuesday. As a result, I can feel the soreness in my triceps when I pick up a pen. Pathetic, yet so awesome. I burnt over 600 calories, worked up a sweat and felt on top of the world.

While Wyatt was at Brad's last night, I decided to go for a run. I have a lot of miles to make up for Dakota! Before I continue on with this story, let me back track to some local events this week:

I live in Wyoming. Technically, all towns are small here in comparison to what most of you are used to. I grew up in a town of 2,500 people. Where I live now has a population of 33,000 (not counting the University). So, overall, still not a big place. Living in a place where it feels like everyone knows everyone, it's easy to be a little too relaxed. Sure, I lock my car doors and lock up the house at night. But, other than that, safety just hasn't ever been a big concern to me.

With all that said, back to the story. On social media this week, I've seen posts from local friends warning about "salesman" in town claiming to sell cleaner for "inner city kids". Stories have ranged from them pushing through the door way to get into the house after being told they weren't interested. Refusing to leave properties. Getting upset when asked to leave etc... One friend of mine had told them she wasn't interested at her home yesterday morning, that afternoon, they pulled up next to her at an intersection to ask if she'd changed her mind and tried to get her to pull into a parking lot. Another's husband had to pull a gun to get them to leave their house. Police had been notified of these guys, and had spoken to them earlier in the week. 

Even with all that going on, I really didn't give my going for a run a second thought. I was about a mile from Brad's house, in a quiet residential neighborhood, enjoying my run with some Carry On My Wayward Son motivating me on my Ipod. I came to an intersection and stopped as there was a white, unmarked, van coming down the street. He stopped and waved me to cross. As I started to cross the street, he gunned it and parked right in my path. 

I could see him trying to say something to me, so I took my earphones out. He asked me if I'd seen his buddy selling cleaner in the neighborhood. I told him I hadn't and tried to continue on my run. He inched forward blocking my path and asked if I'd be interested in their product. I told him I was trying to run and wasn't interested, tried to get past and he inched forward again. At this point, I was getting pissed off, and a little freaked out. He continued to inch forward every time I tried to get passed him. I noticed a cop car parked at a house about a block ahead. I turned, made a big loop behind him, sprinted to the cop's house and pretended to tie my shoes for a bit until the guy in the creepy van had moved on. 

I'm sure the guy was probably harmless, but the whole situation just gave me a really bad feeling. My original plan was to get at least 3 miles in. Instead, I made it to some busier streets and made my way back to Brad's. 

I'm a firm believer in not living your life in fear. Bad things happen - some unavoidable. You just go out there and live your life. If something happens, it happens. That's just my mentality. The incident last night hasn't discouraged me from continuing to run. Nothing will get in the way of that. But, it did shake me up enough to research some different options for protection while running. I haven't decided what route I'm going to take in that department just yet, but I will start carrying some type of protection with me for solo runs.

Moral of the story: be safe out there. Stay aware on your runs... or walks... or bike rides. Always have a plan in mind and be prepared.