Discovering Who You Are

Note: I've added a new recipe. Crock Pot Chicken Fajitas can be found HERE

Twenty-five months ago my life was changed forever, or rather thirty-four months ago. Life changed from late nights out, sleeping in, changing plans on a whim and non-stop social events to dirty diapers, burp rags, early bed-times, mid-night feedings, early mornings, cars, Disney movies, sticky messes and lions.  While challenging at times, being a mother is the greatest blessing any of us have, or ever can, experience. However, it's also an emotional roller-coaster and full of ups and downs.

We go from being completely selfish and self-absorbed, to caring for another's needs before our own. Showers and meals are sometimes forgotten. "Friends" are often lost. The days of adult conversation seem a distant memory. While raising these amazing blessings, we sometimes lose ourselves along the way. 

Shortly before making my lifestyle changes, I was sitting on the couch after getting Wyatt to bed earlier than normal. Despicable Me was still playing on the TV. There were cars and crackers scattered across the floor. I remember quietly cleaning up our evening of fun, careful not to wake my precious little boy. Suddenly, I felt a pit in my stomach and I just started to weep. Wyatt was sound asleep, the house was now clean and I was alone with myself.

 I cried because I didn't know what I was going to do for the rest of the evening. What had I done with my time before I was a mother? What did I enjoy doing? Did I used to have any hobbies? What was I passionate about other than motherhood? Who was I?

With an overwhelming sadness, I curled myself up in a ball and cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning I woke up determined to find a balance. I literally made a list of the things I enjoyed before my beautiful baby boy graced us with his presence. A list of my hobbies and passions. At the top of the list was "crafting". Somewhere in the middle was "fitness/running." 

I picked up crochet hooks and yarn on my lunch break, and after Wyatt went to bed that evening, I began to teach myself to crochet. This was the start of my journey to a healthier me. Crochet became my "me time". I was doing something just for myself and I started to feel happier as time went on. Eventually, I got around to making my "me time (with the munchkin in tow)" my workout. 

As women, wives, mothers, students, career-women, etc... it is important that we don't lose ourselves along the way. Don't forget who you are. Yes, I am Wyatt's Mama. That is my most important title, and the one I hold dearest to my heart. But, I'm also Tiffany. The girl that cries if a kitten has a cold. The girl that loves to bake and make a mess in the kitchen. The girl that loves staying up all night to finish an amazing book. The girl that dreamed of joining the Peace Corp and loves to be involved. The girl that loves to laugh and be silly. The girl that started sewing and quilting at 8 years old. The girl that loves basketball, racquetball, rollerblading, weight-lifting and the great outdoors. 

Often times, our excuse for continuing our un-healthy lifestyles, is that it's not fair to our children. Somehow, we start to believe that it's unacceptable to do something for ourselves. Society leads us to believe that this is our one and only purpose.  Heaven forbid we take 30 minutes a day to do something for ourselves. Is that 30-60 minutes going to turn our children into psychotic messes down the road? I think not. 

Our children deserve strong, empowered, healthy mothers. They deserve a well-rounded, balanced, and happy mother to care for them and teach them. Why do we, as women, judge and bring down those that make an effort to balance it all? Those that remember who they truly are and don't want to lose sight of that? 

I'm at the start of my journey. 21 lbs down with many more to go. Time with my son is very precious to me. I work full time, am currently a "single" mother (just Wyatt and I live here), and I fit a workout in 6 days a week. My son is not neglected or forgotten, nor will he ever be. He is going to go grow up with a happy, healthy (physically and mentally) mommy. 

Don't feel guilty for wanting that for yourself. Don't feel guilty for wanting to be at a healthy weight. For wanting to feel confident, look good and live a longer life. Your children, and all the people in your life, will only benefit from it. No matter what the crazies say....