Real Talk

All this down time from the blog (and consistent workouts and healthy eats) gives one a lot of thinking time.

Real Talk: I've been really struggling to get back my motivation and determination. These past few months have been challenging in so many ways. I had a "me" day for the first time in several months on Sunday. Brad took Wyatt to Cheyenne to see Nanny and Poppie and get some golfing in. Normally, I tag along for these weekends. I love spending time with my family, more than anything else in the world. But as much as I wanted to go, I knew that I needed some time to myself even more. So, I stayed home. I ran 3.15 solo miles along the greenbelt for the first time this summer. I soaked in the sun, the view of the river and the wildlife. Once home, I scrubbed every inch of the house. I threw bags of clutter and old toys away. Completed load upon load of laundry (even folded and put a way - huge plus). Then, I threw in a T25 workout giving me nearly 1200 calories burned just in my workouts for the day.

I'd finally completed everything on my "me day" to-do list and it was only 3pm. I had a couple hours to kill before the boys got home so I decided to watch some Netflix. I'd watched one full episode (Desperate Housewives never gets old) on my laptop, sitting in bed before it hit me - I have a TV. I have a TV in my living room (actually, a fairly new TV I just got a couple months ago) and I have never, not once, sat on the couch and watched what I wanted to watch. I was home alone, sitting in bed watching a show on my laptop. Seriously, forgot I had a TV... So, if that doesn't explain how badly I needed a few hours to myself, I don't know what would.

Anyways, the reason I'm sharing this seemingly pointless story, is in that moment that I realized I had forgotten I had a TV and a couch, I also realized I'd forgotten something else that should be somewhere on my priority list: myself. 

As women, and especially mothers, we are genetically made to be caregivers. We put our children above all else. We care for our husbands/significant others. As career women, we work hard to succeed and earn our place in the workplace. All these things are important. But, sometimes we forget ourselves in the craziness. At least, I know I do. And often.

I have a plan in the works that I hope to be sharing by the end of the week. I hope you guys will join in with me when I have everything together. I'm still trying to sort through my thoughts on the subject, so stay tuned for that.

Back on topic, the first area that I need to make a priority is my health. I need to get my mindset back to where it was this time last year. I need to re-lose the weight and find the passion I've lost recently. I thought a lot about what has changed from then and now. What was keeping me motivated then, that I don't have now? The biggest thing that's come to mind is an actual program. With a start and end date. I started my journey doing Jillian Michael's Body Revolution. I'm stubborn to a fault at times. Knowing it was a 90 day program kept me on point. I wanted to prove to myself that I could have amazing results by the end of the program. With that in mind, I've decided to finally completed T25 start to finish. It's roughly a 60 day program (Alpha Phase and Beta phase).

Tonight starts day 1 - and I am ready! I haven't weighed myself in weeks, possibly months - I don't know for sure. I know that it's probably going to be the worst number I've ever seen and I've dreaded that moment. But, by putting it off, it gives me the "I can start tomorrow" mentality. No more. That ends today. I'm digging the scale back out tonight for a morning weigh-in and will also track my measurements through the next 60 days. I'm a person that needs accountability to stay on track, so I'll be sharing everything here on the blog once again.

The first step is making a plan - and I've at least got that part down. Here's to big changes!