It's Not Always Rainbows and Unicorns

I have not been in a good place the past week. One thing I have learned about myself though, I'm an emotional eater. When I've lost weight previously, I've just concentrated on my outside appearance and number on the scale. I never stopped to ask myself WHY I am the way I am. I never worked on the inner me. Which is probably why I put all the weight back on and then some. This time, I am trying to do it right. Did it ever cross my mind that I eat emotionally? Nope. Never. Strangely, I had never even thought about it.

I mentioned some of what has been going on in an earlier post this week. Add on a vacation and it hasn't been pretty. I went into our trip last week feeling great. Being confident that I would get my workouts in, and while I planned to let myself indulge a bit, I was sure I'd be able to stay in control. I forced myself to go for one run and that was it. I sat around and drowned my sorrows in junk; and a lot of it.

It hasn't gotten any better since we got home. We got back to town Monday evening and our schedule has been non-stop go go go. My house is a disaster. There's clean laundry still sitting in a pile needing to be folded and put away. I haven't worked out once since my run last week. There has been no opportunities to go grocery shopping, so we've been ordering in. Not to mention the left  over birthday cake still sitting on the kitchen table waiting for me to get home tonight.

My body is not used to junk anymore and has been letting me know it doesn't appreciate my downward spiral. My mind does not appreciate a week off from workouts. I'm exhausted from doing a whole lot of nothing! I'm irritable and not very pleasant to be around. I'm angry at myself and am trying to remember that this is a process. It's not always going to be rainbows and unicorns, but it's hard to keep that mindset.

I didn't have a scale in order to weigh-in on Sunday, and I'm grateful for that. I am fully aware that the number would not have made me happy, nor would it have encouraged me to do better this time. It would have brought me further down. So I'm take a two week break from the scale. Two weeks to get myself back on track and my mindset back to where I need it to be. I want to concentrate on my workouts and what I'm putting in my body, rather than what that number would tell me.

My house is going to be messy one more day. My laundry might sit there waiting to be put away one more day. Because, no matter what, I'm getting my workout in first thing tonight. Well, the cake might go in the garbage first...